Dear Christmas Tree

Dear Live Christmas Tree,

You are beautiful.  Your glow makes 5:03 am feel less 5ish.  You smell really great.  But what’s with all the spiders??




Dear Tiny Live spider,

Please kindly agree to the following terms and conditions:

-no running

-no raising of any legs in a threatening-ish manner

-no escaping the gentle death grip of toilet paper

-absolutely no jumping

-certainly no skin to skin contact

(Although I’m almost certain it was YOU who did not agree YESTERDAY, I believe in second chances)




Dear Sweet Children,

Please do not murder each other as I spend the next 5 minutes trying to carefully catch and release this tiny (very feisty) spider with a single square of toilet paper.




Dear Mother Nature,

I have returned one of yours to you.

I will be back for that toilet paper, but later.  It was dark, there was no way to know if the spider had vacated.

You’re welcome,


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