I realize Mother’s Day has come and gone, but with Father’s Day right around the corner, maybe it is still applicable, and this has been on both my mind and heart for awhile.
Recently grade 1 and 2 teachers, in just one school, in just one city, announced they would not be creating Mother’s Day crafts this year. There was immediate backlash and outrage from not only the parents of those children, but the entire community and province. So like anything that fuels my teacher fire, I took to the comments section of Facebook. I was asked several times, “Why the hate for Mother’s Day”? So here it goes (for the record, I don’t hate completely hate it, and I still do Mother’s Day crafts with my students).
I am deeply bothered when teachers are not given the benefit of a doubt. Let’s pretend for 30 seconds that teachers, who have spent 5+ years of school learning to be a teacher, have years of experience, take professional development to continue to learn how to effectively reach children, who spend evenings reading books and blogs to become better teachers, who spend 6 hours a day with a particular group of children might just understand some of their emotional needs. In this particular circumstance one of the students very recently, and very tragically lost their mother. Did they write this in the note home? No. Should they need to? NO! Parents and the public should understand that the vast majority of teachers are looking out for their students best interests.
BUT… BUT… BUT…
Why don’t teachers just get them to make a craft for someone else? If you think that teachers everywhere have not been doing this since the beginning of Mother’s Day, you are wrong. If you think creating a craft for an aunt, grandmother or foster parent on Mother’s Day makes those students who have lost theirs, or who have mothers who are not yet well enough equipped to be a mother, feel less left out, you are wrong again. Every year I have at least 2 students who come from complicated family situations.
Mother’s Day crafts have been made at school for 100 years! There were a lot of things happening 100 years ago in education that are highly inappropriate for today. Students were given the strap as a form of discipline, teachers smoked and drank in the staff room, special needs students were not included in a regular school, black children did not attend the same school as white children and First Nations children were taken from their families, stripped of their culture, forced to attend English speaking schools and often abused. As society evolves so do our thoughts, attitudes and actions. “It’s always been that way” is clearly not a reason for continuing hurtful practices.
I’m sick of everything having to be so PC. I’m not entirely sure why this was used as an argument in support of Mother’s Day cards, though it was. I know the teachers used the word “inclusive” on their note, and I know that word scares some people, heaven forbid we be more inclusive when considering 6 and 7 year olds. I have taught children with same sex parents and I can assure you that those parents have been more than happy receiving two projects on Mother’s Day. I have also taught students from a variety of different cultures, they too appreciate a love-filled, paint-splattered, heart-shaped handprint card.
This is not preparing them for the real world. First of all, they are 6 and 7 years old! If ever there was a time to shelter someone from the “real world” it is when they are 6 and 7 years old. Secondly, some of my student’s stories would break your heart if you heard them, others would make your skin crawl. Believe me, they know more about the “real world” than they anyone ever should. The MOST important thing in my class is to keep my students safe. I wish it was learning, I do. It is my job to keep my classroom a safe space, because unfortunately for some students my classroom is the only safe space, the only escape from the “real world”, they have.
My child is very upset they cannot create a craft for me. First of all most 6 and 7 year olds I know, don’t know what day of the week it is, let alone year. But let’s pretend they do. If they are upset, wonderful! That means they have a wonderful loving mother that they want to create a craft for! Give them a hug, they will get over it. It is the ones who have lost their mothers or the ones who have a mother unable to be a mother, that are the concern here.
Arts and crafts are part of the curriculum. Yes, they are. At 6 and 7 years old they are usually making 1 project per week. I’m sure you are inundated with beautiful projects that your child excitedly hands you each week. Feel free to claim any one of these as your special created “just for you” project, because they are, kids cannot wait to bring these weekly little gems home and gift them to you.
Finally to put this into another, far more personal, perspective, Mother’s Day 2012 I was pregnant with my first. People wished me “Happy Mother’s Day,” saying I was a mother, maybe I was, I was getting up frequently at night, which is basically the definition of being a parent. I lost my baby shortly after he was born, fell pregnant quickly again only to miscarry that little guy. So Mother’s Day 2013 was a very painful day for me, but I’m an adult and am capable of dealing with large emotions, so I completely avoided the world and anyone who wasn’t also grieving. 5 years and 2 beautiful daughters later, I still don’t step foot into church or a restaurant to avoid that stupid obligatory flower that reminds me of my heavy heart.
Now imagine for a second that there was a day called Kid’s Day, where everyone around the world recognized their little trouble makers, and on this day at my place of work every staff member was forced to create a special little project for their little ones. It is mandatory, I cannot escape it. But they assure both me and the other lady, who has tried for 7 years to become pregnant, that “It is ok, just create one for a different baby.” Seems like a special kind of torture, am I right? School is mandatory. It is for children. Some children are very hurting.
Mother’s Day is clearly a family event; does it need to be a part of school?
