when both my girls both held my hand for the first time
i wanted to take a picture
but my hands were full
so i memorized the moment instead
on grief
slowly dragged forward
my fingers scramble to cling to anything that might stop time
ten deep lines scar the earth
prominent now
they slowly fade away
as hard as this is
this is familiar
and it’s mine
the earth keeps spinning
when my world has stopped
moving forward means leaving pieces of you behind
-i’m not ready
i press my body against the earth
needing to feel close to you again
my tears water the ground you lie beneath
the sun continues to shine
i hate her for shining
for bringing each new day
the grass has begun to sprout
the earth has moved on
and yet here i am
it comes crashing down
a powerful wave in a furious storm
i’m lost
my lungs on fire
i’m not sure which way is up
not sure if i care
time is undone
and i am brought back to those first days without you
i’m left gasping for air
emotionally spent
but grateful for the reminder
-YOU were HERE
eventually i can let it gently wash over me
as the tide slowly moves in
peacefully
it pulls me out to the sea
for a moment
memory connects us again
the sun warm on my face
the water an understanding friend
giving me the time i need
i gently wash ashore with the returning tide
Common Ground
the common thread that connects us all
is the earth on which we tread
the earth that nourishes our bodies
later laying claim to them
blanketing us all in her warmth
unable to distinguish race
income
sexuality
age
religion
or political position
she welcomes us
bringing us together
we are one
if only we had learned to live this way while our hearts were beating
and we could feel the warmth
understanding
as i walk through the forest i like to study the trees
some taken too soon
barely sprouted from the earth
others deeply rooted
having weathered many storms
more
tired
barely hanging on
as deep and threatening waters relentlessly break away the ground they were once firmly rooted in
others tenaciously take root in rocky crevices
almost nothing to nourish their growth
still they stand
defying expectation
unable to choose where they have taken root
unable to change their circumstances
they simply stand
when forested together they are better prepared to weather any storm
winds may bend them
but each one sturdily protects the others
and in turn is protected
simply
by being close.
standing
another fire breathing beast
brought down by the women encircling his frame
once powerful
dangerous
protected by a fortress he had cunningly built around himself
there he lays
wings clipped
much smaller than he seemed
once girls
they trembled in fear
crying into deaf ears
years later
firmly grounded
despite all attempts to destroy them
despite all the times they were told they were worthless
they stand
together
while declaring their truths
they whisper to all of the other young girls
“never forget how powerful you are”
Making a Woman
make her smaller than the male of her species
fault her
and her thirst for knowledge
for the fall of human kind
give her a womb
let it define her
mother of humanity
drain her of her energy for several days each month
give her a surge of hormones
combine it with discomfort and pain
give her breasts
to nourish her young
let them become objects of sexuality
to be lusted after
tell her how and when they are appropriate
give men ownership over her
allow her to be given away
give her sexual urges
chastise her for acting on them
at all
or too often
give her a desire for knowledge
the ability to cure ailments
and the yearning to gather with others like her
burn her
stone her
lock her away
give her a love for the earth
let her care for it and cultivate it
raise her children upon it
but not own it.
give her a mind
make it powerful
combine wisdom with empathy
make her fight for her vote
give her the desire to succeed
and the ability to work hard
pay her less than her coworkers for performing the same tasks
dress her in high heels
underwire
strapless dresses
and tiny bathing suits
constantly evaluate her
loudly make it known if her body is
or isn’t pleasing
whisper in her ear that beauty is more important than inquisitiveness or strength
create several billion dollar industries to tell her her body is not good enough
capitalize on the insecurities you created
give her a voice strong and full of conviction
speak over her
ignore her
when she speaks of sexual assault
harassment
and misconduct
call them claims
dismiss her completely
ask her how she could have prevented it
give her control over her body
give her the right to say no
do not protect her under the law
consider the life of the vicious
twenty minutes ought not to define him.
tell her she’s equal
ignore her as she explains the truths of the past and the present
give her tenacity
courage
and a vision
watch as she stands
clears her throat
and prepares to speak
again
confident and in unison
hand in hand
with her sisters
until she is heard
until she is understood
until she is equal